Getting back to my roots

A lot has happened in the last few weeks.. starting with me leaving the online running group I've been part of for the last two years Run for Fun. My decision to leave the group and no longer have the support from members of the group came about after a difference of opinion shall we say between myself and a few members of the group about a race I have entered that is only two weeks before the London Marathon. The race I have entered is the Hot Runner 7 in 7 where you can enter as many of the marathons / half marathons (two per day for 7 days) as you like. I will be running two half marathons in one day one at 9am and the second starting at 3pm. I have my own reasons for doing this as part of my training plan and am looking forward to this weekends long run of 18 miles being the last really long one I will do on my own.  Since leaving the group I have found it difficult getting my head around continuing to run, I am out there on my own and felt a bit lost at times.

With all of this coming about it's made me think long and hard about my running and I've realised that I have found marathon training a chore, not fun, I have found it an effort to do the long runs on the weekend and found the regimental training plans have taken the fun out running. I was focusing so much on the time I would complete London in I felt I had lost my way with the whole reason why I love running.  I started reading a book last night called the London Marathon and one part really stood out to me, a man who had ran numerous marathons before, many in very fast times found that everyone paid attention as soon as he got a place in the London marathon the fact that he ran it slower than any other marathon before didn't matter as no one focused on the time but on the fact that he had ran in the event. The only person focused on the time was himself. London is the peoples marathon.

I am going to take London as a fun run, if I get a good time brilliant if I don't well at least I've spent more time enjoying the experience. I have dropped down from the full Worcester marathon to the Half marathon and after a 10k race I have in the middle of May I won't be following any training plan for a few months. I am looking forward to being able to wake up and make a decision if it will be a day I run or not run and if I do then how far and not feel like I've failed somehow if I miss a day or don't run the required distance.

The only other races I will be doing this year are half marathons and local 10k's the kind you get at village halls with bakes sales after, I want to get back to my roots of where it all started with races like the Blymhill 10k.  Don't get me wrong I am over the moon to be running London and being privileged enough get a place but feel I have been focusing on more and more specialised races and going in the wrong direction, whether that be from trying to keep up with others in the group and feeling like this is the way I should be progressing or just not taking a step back and looking at what I am doing. I have plans to join the Black Pear Joggers properly as I will be free to run when I like if I am not putting such a strict training plan or expectations on myself.  I will enter the London Marathon every year and this will be the only time I will run over half marathon distance again.

I will mention the word Grim and I will say one thing about it... I am absolutely positive I am not meant to run this race, 1st year DNF, second year DNS and third year it's going to be another DNS, I feel if I ran this race something bad would happen, something is making it clear that me and this race are not meant to meet again.

So now I have an 18 mile long slow run to look forward to this weekend and then it's all up from there with London 7 weeks away I am back to looking forward to it.